Another trip to the dentist and two more cavities to fill.  As a parent you probably feel frustrated.  After all, you are doing your part.  You take them to their 6 month cleanings and check-ups, you try to watch the sweets, and you nag them every morning and evening to brush.  Only to have more dentist bills to pay at the next check-up.

If only they wanted to brush, maybe it would be an easier fight.

Don’t despair.  My friend, Dr. Brandon Cluff, has some suggestions on how to get your kids to be more willing to take care of their teeth (and lower your dentist bills).

1.  Make their toothbrush a toy.  When kids are young, start them out by just playing with their toothbrush.  Let them chew and suck on it and become comfortable with it in their mouth.

2.  Let them pick out their own brush and character toothpaste.  They may not have a choice on whether or not to brush, but by giving them a choice of what flavor of toothpaste and color of brush to use, they still have some say in the process.

3.  Make it fun.  Play silly games or sing songs while brushing.  How about a game of “Get the Sugar Bugs!”?

4.  Brush at the same time.  Kids love to copy you.  Brush your teeth at the same time and show them how to get all the sides and angles by turning your brush or your hand.

5.  Compliment them.  Become the “Tooth Inspector” and tell them what a good job they are doing, how well they brushed their tongue, or how minty their breath smells.

6.  Give them rewards for brushing their teeth.  (But not candy! That kind of defeats the purpose.)  Fill up a sticker chart or make it part of their daily chores and reward them accordingly.

Read a related article here:  Encouraging Your Kids to Eat Their Fruits and Veggies

7.  Educate them.  Sometimes you’ll have better luck getting through to them if the direction doesn’t come from you.  Read books, watch videos, and have others (like grandpa who can take out his dentures in front of them) encourage them to take better care of their teeth.

Do you struggle to get your kids to brush their teeth?  Or maybe you’ve found something that works for you?  Share your comments below and let us know.

Money as you grow is an initiative from President Barack Obama’s Advisory Council on Financial Capability.  It points out 20 essential, age-appropriate, financial lessons and even includes corresponding activities that kids can do to learn about money as they grow.

From talking to your child about your job and money, to learning where you can get a free annual credit report, this site has some great ideas.  It’s purpose is to inspire families and others to become more financially literate.

Milestones for 3-5 year olds

1 YOU NEED MONEY to buy things.

• Identify coins and their value.
• Discuss how you may value something that is free, such as playing with a friend.
• Identify items that cost money, such as ice cream, gas for the car, or clothes.

2 You earn money by WORKING.

• Describe your job to your child.
• Walk through your neighborhood or town and point out people working, like the bus driver or the police officer.
• Explain that some people start their own businesses, like clothing stores or restaurants, and those people are called entrepreneurs.
• Encourage your child to think about how she could earn money by setting up a lemonade or cookie stand.

3 You may have to WAIT BEFORE YOU CAN BUY something you want.

• When your child is standing in line for a turn on the swings, or looking forward to her favorite holiday, point out that sometimes we have to wait for things we want.
• Find three jars (or cans) and label one for saving, one for spending, and one for sharing.
• Suggest that your child put some of the money she gets into the saving jar, so she can buy a toy or treat when she has saved enough.

4 There’s a difference between THINGS YOU WANT and things you need.

• When you are out shopping, point out essentials such as food and clothing, and ask your child to describe items that she may want but are optional.
• Talk about how your family decides what to buy and what to pass up. Which is more important, buying cookies or fresh fruit? Soda or milk?
• Draw a circle and divide it into sections for food, rent or house payments, clothes, and “optional items,” to show that there is a finite amount of money to spend.

Milestones for 6-10 year olds

5 You need to MAKE CHOICES about how to spend your money.

• Include your child in some of your small decisions. For example, at the grocery store, explain why you pick one item over another.
• Give your child two dollars and let her choose which fruit to buy.
• When shopping with your child, ask yourself aloud: Do I need this item? Can I borrow it? Would it cost less somewhere else?

6 It’s good to shop around and COMPARE PRICES before you buy.

• With your child, compare prices for a particular toy at various online or brick-and-mortar stores.
• Use coupons and discount cards, and show your child how much you are saving.
• Consider allowing her to keep part of the savings, if she helps clip or print out coupons.

7 It can be costly and DANGEROUS TO SHARE INFORMATION online.

• Know the websites your child visits.
• Decide which websites are appropriate, and block any inappropriate sites using parental control software.
• Make it a rule that your child never gives out any personal information—like her birthdate, address, phone number, or school—when on the computer.
• Don’t allow her to buy anything online without your permission.

8 Putting your money in a savings account will PROTECT it and pay you interest.

• Visit a nearby federally insured bank or credit union with your child.
• Ask about the interest rate on a savings account.
• Discuss with your child how money in savings accounts is protected by federal insurance. If the bank goes out of business, she will get her money back.
• Open a savings account for your child.

Milestones for 11-13 year olds

9 You should SAVE AT LEAST A DIME for every dollar you receive.

• Encourage your child to always save 10% of the money he gets.
• Have your child set a goal to buy something he wants, and have him work toward that amount.
• To reinforce the savings habit, go to the bank two to three times a year with your child to deposit savings into his account, and look at how much bigger the balance is on each visit.
• Consider a “matching plan” for your child’s savings: You put in 25 cents for every dollar he saves.

10 Entering personal information, like a bank or credit card number, online is risky because SOMEONE COULD STEAL IT.

• Discuss the dangers of entering personal information online.
• Explain that thieves can use Social Security numbers or other personal information to open credit cards or create fake documents.
• Explain that “free” offers online, such as cell phone ringtones or games, are scams to get people to spend money without realizing it.
• Make it a rule that your child never answers emails from someone he doesn’t know and never clicks on pop-up ads.
• Go to ftc.gov/idtheft for tips on information security.

11 The sooner you save, the FASTER YOUR MONEY CAN GROW from compound interest.

• Compound interest is when you earn interest on both the money you save and the interest you earn.
• Show your child the following: If he sets aside $100 every year starting at age 14, he’d have about $23,000 at age 65. However, if he begins saving at age 35 he’d have about $7,000 at age 65. Assume the account earns 5% every year.
• To compute compound interest, use the calculators at investor.gov.
• Discuss how much your child can save. What will he have to give up? Is it worth it?

12 USING A CREDIT CARD IS LIKE TAKING OUT A LOAN; if you don’t pay your bill in full every month, you’ll be charged interest and owe more than you originally spent.

• Discuss why you should not use a credit card to buy something that you can’t afford to pay for with cash.
• Look at credit card offers online with your child, and compare the interest rates.
• Using the Credit Card Repayment Calculator at federalreserve.gov, see how long it could take to repay a $1,000 credit card debt by making the minimum monthly payments.
• Discuss how a credit card can be useful for making purchases online, or as a convenience.

Milestones for 14-18 year olds

13 When COMPARING COLLEGES, be sure to consider how much each school would cost you.

• Point out that college grads earn almost twice as much as people who did not go to college.
• Discuss how much you can contribute to your child’s college tuition and expenses each year.
• Compare college costs, graduation rates, loan default rates, average monthly loan payments, and employment prospects by using the “College Scorecard” at collegecost.ed.gov/scorecard.
• See what schools cost by finding the “net price calculator” on their websites; know that most families don’t pay the tuition sticker price.
• Use the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s Paying for College tool to compare financial aid offers at consumerfinance.gov.
• To estimate your financial aid, use the FAFSA4caster tool at fafsa.ed.gov.
• Go to studentaid.ed.gov to research additional loans, scholarships, and grants, and use the calculators to estimate your monthly loan payments.

14 You should AVOID USING CREDIT CARDS to buy things you can’t afford to pay for with cash.

• With your child, fill out the Income and Expenses budgeting worksheet available at mymoney.gov.
• Discuss why having a savings and spending plan in place could help him avoid using credit cards.
• Drive home this rule: When you use a credit card, aim to pay it back in full each month; otherwise, you could be charged high interest.
• Using the Credit Card Repayment Calculator at federalreserve.gov, see how long it could take to repay a $1,000 credit card debt by making the minimum monthly payments.

15 Your first paycheck may seem smaller than expected since MONEY IS TAKEN OUT FOR TAXES.

• Discuss the difference between gross pay (before taxes are taken out) and net pay (the amount you take home).
• Explain that the W-4 form, which you fill out when starting a job, determines the amount of taxes taken out of a paycheck.
• Explain that tax brackets vary depending on how much you earn. (In 2012, single people who earn $8,700 or less per year pay a tax rate of 10%, for example, and those who earn between $8,700 and $35,350 pay 15%.)
• Discuss what taxes pay for, including schools, road maintenance, and medical help for the elderly.
• Once your child has a steady job, help him set up an automatic savings program so that at least 10% of earnings goes directly into his savings account.

16 A great place to SAVE AND INVEST MONEY you earn is in a Roth IRA.

• If your child has a job, encourage him to open a Roth IRA (Individual Retirement Account).
• Explain that a Roth IRA allows the interest you earn to grow tax-free for life.
• Experiment with different amounts of savings and interest rates. Use a compound interest calculator at investor.gov.
• Use the “Rule of 72″ to estimate how many years it would take to double your money. If you invest in an account that earns 8% interest, you’ll double your money in nine years (72 divided by 8 is 9).
• Explain to your child that once he starts a job, he may be offered a similar account at work called a 401(k). Some employers even provide matching contributions.

Milestones for 18+ years old

17 You should use a credit card only if you can PAY OFF THE MONEY OWED IN FULL each month.

• Understand that when a parent cosigns, any late payments you make will also affect their credit history.
• Paying bills late can hurt your credit history and affect your chances of getting a job.
• Get free credit reports once a year at annualcreditreport.com.
• Look for a credit card with a low interest rate and no annual fee.
• There may be an emergency expense that you can’t pay off immediately and need to charge. That’s why it’s important not to charge everyday items.
• To learn more about the credit card rules, go to federalreserve.gov.

18 You need HEALTH INSURANCE.

• Comparison shop for insurance like you would for any other product.
• If your parents have health insurance, see if you can stay on their policy—with some exceptions, you are entitled to, by law, until you turn 26.
• Get more information about the health insurance available to you at healthcare.gov.
• Purchase renter’s insurance if you lease an apartment, and auto insurance if you own, lease, or rent a car.

19 It’s important to save at least three months’ worth of living expenses IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY.

• Make a list of your expenses (rent, bills, food) to see how much you spend each month; this will help you estimate how much you’ll need to save for three months’ worth of expenses.
• Store the money in a safe place, like a federally insured bank or credit union.
• If you’re able to, try saving six to nine months’ worth of living expenses instead of only three.
• Don’t stop once you’ve built your emergency fund; try to automate your savings so you stash away 10% of your earnings.

20 When investing, consider THE RISKS AND THE ANNUAL EXPENSES.

• Invest in an IRA or a 401(k) as soon as you have some income.
• Putting all your eggs in one basket can be a risky way to invest; consider a diverse mix of stocks, bonds, and cash.
• Compare mutual fund costs: An “annual expense ratio” of 1.5% instead of 0.5% on a $1,000 investment could cost you almost $2,000 over the course of 35 years.
• Ask about index funds, which tend to have low annual fees.
• Think about your goals. Attending college? Buying a home in 10 years? Purchasing a car in five? Define two financial goals for the long- term future, and make a plan to achieve them.
• For more information go to investor.gov.

You can visit their site for more information at  http://moneyasyougrow.org/#

Boys in general are loud, active, physical, and competitive.  We tend to try and prevent this behavior, fearing that it will get out of hand.  But active behavior is not necessarily aggressive behavior.  Many times we punish a boy, just for being a boy.  If supervised and taught properly, their roughhouse play can be wholesome and even a positive outlet for their energy.

Provide a Positive Role Model

The best way to raise a great son is for that boy to have a great father.  “Men are extremely important in giving boys messages about being a man.”  Says Geoffrey and Michael Thompson, in “The Search for Masculinity: Growing Up Masculine”.  If there is no father in the home, maybe a grandfather, or an uncle, or even a teacher can be a positive role model for him.

Stop Bad Behavior Immediately

If their play is hurting someone, stop it immediately.  Set limits.  There is no reason or excuse to hit, bite, or push.  And “stop” means stop.  Help them find better alternatives to express themselves.  Encourage verbal expressions of their feelings.  Always follow through with consequences.  And punish without being abusive.

Give them Physical Outlets

Let them work.  Give them chores to complete.  It will build their character and their self-esteem (and release some extra energy).  Trust them and give them responsibility and then praise them when they follow through.  Help them grow by giving them a job that is a little bit bigger than they think they can handle.

Encourage Education

Many problems can be averted by reading and writing.  Find areas that they are interested in and encourage them to study them.  Support them at school and motivate them to further their education past high school.

Be Positive

Say “yes” more than you say “no”.  Give them the space that they need and encourage them to grow.  Catch them being good and praise them as often as possible.  But most of all, relax, have fun, love him, and show him that you love him!

Read a related article:  How to Raise a Girl

We want our daughters to grow into happy, healthy, beautiful, contributing, women.  We want them to walk tall and stand for something.  We want them to be smart and self-sufficient.  We want them to be better than us.  So what can we teach them as young girls that will mold them into strong and capable women?

Show her that you love her…just the way she is.

First and foremost, tell and show your daughter that you love and appreciate her.  Praise her not only for what she does but who she is.  Let her know that she is a good person.  If she feels loved and supported she will have a more positive self image.  Do things with her that she likes to do.  And expect great things from her.

Click here to read a related article:  Discipline vs. Love, 3 Words to Remember 

Shape her Character

Teach her that she is strong and capable and she can do whatever she wants to do and be whomever she wants to be.  Teach her to respect herself.  Girls that don’t respect themselves have a harder time withstanding peer pressure and standing up for themselves.  Help her become involved in doing good by serving.  Abraham Lincoln said, “When I do good, I feel good.”

Click here to read a related article:  Critical Lessons to Teach Your Children 

Help her be Self-Sufficient

Teach her to cook and clean and take care of herself and her surroundings.  Teach her the value of hard work.  Teach her the value of money.  Teach her how to run a household.

Emphasize Education

You’ve heard, “When you educate a girl, you educate a nation.”  Teach your daughter to read and write and spell as well as possible.  Help her to develop good study habits and a yearning for knowledge.  Encourage her to be creative.

De-Emphasize Appearance

Counter negative media with honest messages about her body.   Help her establish healthy eating and exercise routines.  Don’t compare her to anyone else.  Teach her good grooming skills and good manners.  Help her confidence grow by accentuating her best features.  And everyone looks better with a smile on their face.  Be more beautiful by being happy.

Teach her to be Emotionally Stable

Girls are often more emotional than boys.  This can be good because it helps them be more expressive, but it can lead to negative “drama”.  Help them to have a positive but realistic approach to life.  Help them learn to reason and use their common sense.  Help them learn discipline and self control, especially when it comes to mood swings.

You often hear that the biggest investment you will ever make is buying a home. That’s because it’s an emotional experience and involves very critical eyes. Hours of looking on the internet or driving around to see different neighborhoods takes a lot of time and energy and it should because it’s a big decision. In fact, in 2010 the median home price in the U.S was $222,000. That’s a lot of dough to plunk down at once. This is a long-term investment to provide shelter for your family and comes with an expectation if you care for it and improve it you will see appreciation in its value.

Then comes the second largest purchase – your car. According to the National Automobile Dealers Association, the average price of a new car sold in the United States is about $30,000; the average used car is $11,850. Once again, hours searching on the internet, test-drives and time at the dealership quickly adds up. Buying a car is a spendy proposition, but it’s not anywhere near your biggest investment, none the less you have expectations for it to provide your family with reliable transportation for years to come and be worth something when it’s time to replace it.

Most people overlook their biggest investment. It’s one that is larger and more important than either of the previous two investments and it doesn’t come with granite countertops or leather seats.

Your Biggest Investment

Your biggest investment is  your KIDS! According to a 2011 USDA report, it costs $295,000 to raise a kid from birth to age 17. And that’s per kid! The sad news is that doesn’t even cover the cost of college. For an in-state 4-year program you can tack on another $68,524 or $154,356 for a private college. Where you live, your income level and the educational institution of choice can all make those numbers even bigger.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have kids. It simply means that we need to put these costs into perspective and start treating the price of kids with more attention to detail and a sharper eye on expectation for return.

So, what expectations do you have for the BIGGEST investment you will ever make?

As a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) I have spent my entire career counseling people on how to carefully select investments, pay close attention to them and make sure their portfolios are tweaked for maximum return. My clients have come to expect this type of attention to detail.

If you are like most Americans you don’t have a plan for the investment of your kids because it’s not a one-off transaction. Instead the cost is stretched over a 17-year period, and THAT’S THE PROBLEM. It’s money slipping slowly through our fingers over time. Buying a new pair of pants or another trip to get a haircut – it all slowly adds up.

So now that we know kids are the biggest investment you’ll make, how do you take charge to get the most out of your investment?

1. Make your kids aware

2. Make a conscious effort to share on big ticket financial items

3. Help them enjoy work and money

4. Don’t cultivate entitlement, tie work to reward

5. Consistency counts

Make your kids aware

The days of keeping hush-hush when it comes to finances are over. Ninety-five percent of parents feel it is their responsibility to teach their kids about money, but only 26 percent feel comfortable doing it. To reverse this trend, start with some small steps. Let the kids know how much the electric bill is next month. I did this last summer when our electric bill was over $700. Yes, we live in Arizona and the A/C seems to never turn off in August! However, by letting them know how much it costs, they were more mindful about not leaving the doors open and how they can do their small part to save.

Also, let them know how much it costs to fill the gas tank of the family car. In April of 2011, the average amount American households spent on gas was $368.09. That’s just one month. All that running around from soccer practice to school adds up. There’s a good chance you will get some raised eyebrows when you expose those figures. Kids are smart.

Share on big-ticket items

Make a conscious effort to discuss big-ticket financial items. Don’t be afraid to discuss your home’s value and mortgage with your kids. They can look it up on Zillow anyways, so forget the “50’s” mentality of “we don’t share family money matters with our children”. Start sharing this financial information with them and empower your kids. Don’t leave them in the dark. Kids can feel when there is stress in the home about money, so have a sit-down meeting and discuss openly the issues and work as a family on how to get through the hard times. Maybe it’s sacrificing the skiing trip or skipping dinner out on the weekends.

Once their eyes are opened to the costs of running a family and what it looks like to budget you’ll be surprised at how quickly they start learning how to make better money decisions. You’ll also start hearing things like, “Dad, that is a total rip off! Let’s not buy it here when we can get it cheaper somewhere else!”. These skills will last a lifetime. Get your kids to participate.

Help your kids enjoy work and money

Getting through college takes a lot of hard work, but studies show it pays off.  Median income for someone with a bachelor’s degree is $54,756. Compare that to $33,176 for a high school diploma. If you do the math on this over a 35 year career that’s an additional $740,000. For a master’s degree you can add another $400,000 over a career. That’s a pretty good return on some hard work if learned early. If kids are held to a high standard when it comes to helping around the house, being diligent in their studies or staying on top of their piano lessons they will learn to enjoy work. Will you hear some complaining along the way? Definitely, but it will be worth it.

Don’t cultivate entitlement, tie work to reward

When it comes to paying kids for their work, there is plenty of debate. The bottom line is that you can call it what you want: allowance, commission, work-pay, whatever… but it needs to be tied to family contribution and it needs to teach your kids something about work ethic. Giving allowance not tied to contribution only encourages the entitlement mentality. We do not need any more of that! Adults work to earn money  so  kids should learn this expectation as well. Have you ever been on a job interview where the employer offers you a salary and then never expects you to show up to work? It’s not reality and your kids should learn that early.

Don’t feel like you have to pay your kids for every little thing they do around the house. Of course some things are expected, but if it is above the call of duty make it worth it. As they work and you pay them for it, it will create meaningful conversations about contribution, hard work and how to make good financial decisions with their money, such as how much they should save, spend or share. Give your kids some jobs around the house where they not only earn a little money, but they can develop a good work ethic. Don’t let your kids sit around and plays video games all day and never learn how to contribute and become responsible. It’s a life lesson and one parents are responsible for teaching. Get them off the couch and let their potential blossom!  If you let them sit on the couch don’t be surprised if they’re still there when their 30! There is no better place to teach good money management lessons then in your own home.

Consistency counts

Don’t be hard-core one day and the next let everything slide. Stay strong and don’t give in. Once your kids learn your new resolve they begin accepting it as part of the routine where accountability and responsibly become a normal expectation. Repetition is the key to learning. Start them early with chores and family activities around the house that will help them learn how to be smart with money from a young age. This will pay big dividends down the road for them personally and for society as a whole.

Your kids truly are the BIGGEST investment you’ll ever make. The return on that investment won’t be seen immediately, but you’ll see glimmers of it as they grow. They’ll gain personal accountability, confidence and financial freedom. When kids leave home and know how to live within their means and not get suckered into bad financial products like high fee bank accounts and credit cards with hidden charges, when they know how to budget and talk about finances you’ll know without a doubt your investment paid off. We must pay more attention to our kids and inspire them to reach their potential. Raising your kids has a big price tag, but it’s worth every dime, especially when you start to see your return on investment and the responsible citizen they’ve become.

Is dessert the fun food in your house?  Do your kids skim over their meal just to get to dessert?  Or, maybe they just shove everything around (or feed some to the dog) to make you think that they have eaten enough of the “healthy stuff” so you’ll agree that it’s time for dessert?  What can you do to shift the scale and have happy vegetable eaters at your table?

It is recommended that half of your child’s plate be filled with fruits and vegetables.  Studies show that 22% of kids ages 2-5 meet these requirements, 16% of 6-11 year olds, and only 11% of kids ages 12-18 eat their recommended amount of fruits and vegetables a day.

Here are some ideas of ways to encourage your kids to eat more vegetables.

Make it Fun – Prepare fruits and vegetables in a fun way.  Cut them into shapes with cookie cutters or make pictures out of them.  Give your produce silly names like “mini trees” for broccoli. And anything mini, is always fun to eat.  Here are a couple of sites that I thought had some neat and fun ways to prepare your fruits and vegetables.

http://pinterest.com/clpage13/veggie-fruit-tray-display-ideas/

http://www.livinglocurto.com/2011/09/vegetable-trays/

Let Them Help – Kids love to go shopping.  Let them pick out the firmest cucumbers or the best smelling cantaloupe.  And when you get home, let them pick out what’s for dinner and help prepare it as well.  They may have more satisfaction eating it when they put some work into preparing it.

Explain What Healthy Is – Give them the details of the food you are eating.  I bet you’ll be surprised exactly what they are able to understand as far as calories, fat, and sugar content.   Make it clear why we try to eat more healthy and what happens to your body when you don’t.

Make it a Game -  Have a goal to introduce one new food every week.  Prepare it in different ways and see what everyone likes the best.

Make Healthy an Easy Option – Single serving packages of chips and cookies are usually the first to disappear from my pantry because they are easy to grab and go.  Instead prepare bags of cut vegetables, applesauce, or fruit cups that can easily be grabbed and they are more likely to be eaten as well.

Eat Healthy Yourself – Kids tend to mimic their parents.  If they see you eating healthy, it probably won’t be long until they are trying…and liking what you eat.

And if all else fails.

Hide Them! – Be creative with the addition of hidden fruits and vegetables in your meals.

My Job Chart continues to grow by leaps and bounds.  Our founder, Gregg Murset,  recently took a trip to Hawaii and was honored to appear on the CBS morning show!

 

How many times have you heard the words “They did it, not me!” as your child points toward their sibling?  If you have a 5-10 year old, probably often.

Most parents don’t like it when their kids are constantly telling on each other.  Instead, we would prefer them to learn problem solving skills when it comes to sibling rivalry.  We also want them to take responsibility for their own actions and deal with the consequences.

Tattling and finger pointing waste time.  It hurts the whole family and causes an atmosphere of defensiveness.  And in the end, it makes the problem that much more difficult to solve.

Understanding why children tattle, can help us diffuse the situation better next time.  Maria Montessori found that children tattle because they are trying to figure out the difference between right and wrong.  The result is, they have to question everything.

Between first and second grade is a prime time for this stage of development.

When children tattle, they are looking for a confirmation that the thing they are tattling about is wrong.  They don’t need to see a punishment imposed on the offender, they just need to know if their anger toward the other person for the wrongdoing is justified.

Helping our children understand the differences between “Tattling” and “Reporting” can help them in the thought process of whether or not they should come to you to tell.

You can use the following lists when discussing this with your child.

Reporting

It’s purpose is to keep people safe

They need help from an adult to solve the problem

It is about something important

It could be a harmful, dangerous, or threatening situation

The bad behavior is purposeful

Tattling

It’s purpose is to try to get someone in trouble

They usually can handle the situation by themselves

It’s not really important

It is a harmless situation

The behavior is accidental

If we can understand why our kids are tattling and help them understand when the situation deserves your attention, hopefully, we’ll have less tattling and more time to give them the good attention they deserve.

Many characteristics of your gifted child may be causing difficulty at home and at school.  Do any of these instances sound familiar?

They are bored with routine tasks, and refuse to do their homework because it’s boring.

They have difficulty moving into another topic because they get so involved in what they are doing.

They are self-critical and are impatient with their failures.

They are also critical of others, even you, their parent, and their teachers.

They often disagree vocally with others including adults.

They make jokes at inappropriate times.

They show intense emotional sensitivity.

They may overreact, get angry easily, or be quick to cry if things go wrong.

They may seem not to be interested in the little details of things.

They don’t like to get their hands messy.

They refuse to accept authority, are nonconforming and stubborn.

They tend to dominate others.

As you can see, sometimes a gifted child is thinking so far above and beyond the mundane that they miss the mark when it comes to common courtesy.  Many times they suffer from plain old boredom.  Your bright child may be exhibiting these traits if they are bored.

They may have a poor attention span.

They may daydream frequently.

They may have a tendency to begin many activities but the inability to follow them through to completion.

Their judgmental development may lag behind their intellectual growth level.

They have an intensity that may lead to power struggles with authorities.

They have a high activity level; they may seem to need less sleep.

They have difficulty restraining their desire to talk and they may be disruptive.

They seem to question rules, customs, routines, and traditions.

They lose their work or forget to do their work because of disorganization.

They may seem to be careless.

They have a high sensitivity to criticism.

Keeping your gifted child “entertained” with appropriate activities will help them focus and use their abilities for good rather than disruptive or difficult attitudes or behaviors.

Service is a great way to encourage your gifted child to “look outside the box” and help someone besides themselves.

Having them help you out with chores and jobs around the house will also give them a purpose and a sense of accomplishment.  Be sure to make sure that the chores don’t become “boring” by switching them up often, or adding something a little different.

Click here to read a related article:  Your Children Crave Responsibility – Give It to Them

Gifted children can bring challenges into your life, but if you look for the good and steer them in the right direction, you’ll find that the rewards far outweigh the tough times.

In January, I shared with you my feelings about a book I had recently read, “The Demise of Guys”.  There has been an overwhelming response from people just like you that have similar feelings.

Traci, at http://www.beneathmyheart.net/shared this:

As a parent, I am so torn with how to raise my boys (that’s a picture of them above) in this day and age of technology-everything!

I feel the pressures of trying to keep up with the Joneses.  Many of Jonathan’s friends in middle school have iphones, ipods, kindles, etc.  Jonathan doesn’t.  He totally deserves them, but my heart tells me not to give them to him yet.

{*NOTE:  I am NOT judging any parents of children with iphones and ipods.  I know many wonderful parents with wonderful children that have iphones, ipods, etc.  The most important thing to consider is how much we let our children use these items.}

I think the main reason I resist is because I see how technology has affected me.  When I started blogging 4 years ago, I never in a million years thought my blog would become my business.  Now that it is my “job,”  I have to spend many hours on my computer… tweeting, facebooking, pinning, writing, sharing, editing, etc.  It never ends.

I’ve started realizing something.  I’m having trouble letting my mind “rest.”

When I do get a little quiet time, I find my mind is filled with “Oh I need to tweet that!”, “Should I text her?”, “Did I take those pictures for that post?”, “Wonder if my facebook group is talking about something important?”

I have such a hard time “resting” my mind before God, and it bothers me.  I truly believe that it is because I saturate my mind with technology all day long, and I can’t turn it off.

So here are my thoughts….if I struggle with that as a 42 year old adult that has only been submerged in technology for the past 5 years, how is that going to effect my boys who have been saturated with it since birth?  Literally.

Are they going to be able to “rest”?   Are they going to be able to turn their mind away from their iphones and ipads long enough to develop real and meaningful relationships with people in their everyday lives?

Those are the questions I ask myself.  I don’t have the complete answer, but I believe that studies are starting to show how technology can negatively affect our children.

As the mother of 4 boys as well, I worry about the purity of their minds.  I know that I cannot protect them from every harmful thing in life, and I don’t want to.  It is through those difficulties that we can grow.

But as far as pornography goes, I will do everything I can to protect them from the life-wrecking effects of it.  There’s no question about it…it can destroy a man’s life.  It’s black and white.  No discussion.  Not a choice.

And here’s another comment from Lauren:

I know you will probably get tons of emails about your post today, but I had to chime in to say THANK YOU for writing this post!!!  As a mother of a 16 year old boy, I am all too aware of what technology can and is doing to our youth.  I struggle daily with his gaming and how much time he spends doing it, which in turn creates many “discussions” with him regarding the dangers of it.  He doesn’t understand and sadly, I really feel like it has negatively impacted my relationship with him.

My solution has been to set boundaries.  He is only allowed to play games for certain time periods and has to turn off (or turn in to us) his ipad and phone by 9pm.  I can only hope that he realizes in time that we did the right thing by setting these boundaries.

Thank you again for writing this post and bringing more awareness to this subject.

It’s all up to the parents to realize it is our responsibility to set limits and understand just how important this issue is if we want our children to become healthy well adjusted adults.

I hope that as parents we can wake up to the fact that we have an influence on our children, for good or for bad.   And it doesn’t take force.  We can lovingly guide and lead and direct them for good.

The statistics prove that times are changing.  Let’s make sure they change for the better.

Click here to view my first article, “Alarming Trends About Guys and Technology“.

And thank you Traci and Lauren, for caring and sharing your thoughts on the subject.